an inextinguishable fire

I touched an abyss that scared me

I did shit my pants and felt my heart rip open

A darkness that felt so bottomless

I was sure I would die

There was no torch in that moment, no candle to be found

I simply was alone, alone, alone

I struggled and went through hell

I fought with all my strength

Until I fell flat and let go

Let go, let go, let go

In that moment of acceptance fear disappeared

Love appeared

Gently falling into a darkness that became an inextinguishable fire.

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What a well-disguised gift

What a well-disguised gift
That cornered me within
No way to control or manage
A life I thought was mine

What a well-disguised gift
That swallowed me within
To a bottomless abyss
I would never suspect

What a well-disguised gift
Taking me to places within
Where the pains and the emptiness
Are so beyond imagination

What a well-disguised gift
That is taking my hand
And guiding me within
With such authority

What a well-disguised gift
That is calling me in
So gently, so irresistible
Destroying all I thought I was
And leaving me empty and unable
Full of the unknown

Oh Arunachala

 

Energy rising

Behind those eyes

Wide open

Intensity settles there

An invisible hollow pressure

An absent lightness

Am I going to crack open and explode

Into nothing?

Oh Arunachala

My sleepless nights and days

Staring into this

Oh Arunachala

I don’t know who you are

Nor what stuff you are made of

Oh Arunachala

I don’t want to know

Just take me

I am all yours.

11/11/2010, 6am back from Ramanaashrama