January 19th, part 4

I sometimes wonder if part 4 really had to happen. I sometimes also wonder if it isn’t the most significant part of all.

In January 2015 I flew directly to Pune from Europe. I had for the first time in 30 years gone back to France in the middle of winter just to spend New Year with my aging parents. It was a long trip back and forth for just a few days, but it felt right and my heart was fulfilled.

I had planned to be in Pune for 3 weeks. I had a room booked and after a day chilling out I made my way to the welcome centre of Osho’s resort. I was contemplating the reasons why I came back again, what this place still had to offer, why I could not just leave Pune and Osho behind and move on. But I had a good reason to be here, I thought, as I was supposed to be part of the staff for the “Path of Love”, a process that had been such a gem for me.

Like I had done hundreds of times before, I sat at the welcome centre with someone in charge of registration. I was as usual a bit impatient to get in, wondering who of my old friends was here, but as soon as my name was entered in the computer lights started flashing. I could see that something strange was happening. The person in charge told me that he was not sure what it was -probably a mistake- but I needed to wait until someone from the “response team” arrives.

I waited an hour and found out that I was banned. There are a lot of politics and power games at play with such a place, and I never got involved. But a few months back I had reposted on my Facebook wall an article by a friend that exposed the current management in ways that I judged interesting for my friends to read and make their own minds. This was apparently not appreciated by those in charge and in power.

The “meeting” lasted 3 minutes. I was told that they have people checking what goes on on Facebook, and that since I obviously didn’t like “them”, I was banned. I could collect my passport and leave the premises.

And so, on January 19th again, 2015 this time, I found myself on the street in front of what had been my home for 21 years, in complete shock.

The next few days were tough. That very night I was close to be admitted to the hospital for what ended up being “only” a panic attack.

There are many angles to what happened then, and in many ways I am cutting a long and ugly story short and picking up the diamond hidden in its midst. Let it be this way.

All I am taking with me is  Osho’s hand closing the gate in front of me and whispering in my ear that when a door closes a bigger door is about to open.

Two years have now passed since that gate in Pune closed in front of me, and other doors have indeed opened – bigger doors, new openings, mysterious ways into the unknowable. Love and Freedom free falling into grace.

Osho gave me another kick that day. He took my golden cage away and set me free.

Time has come to fly and share my taste for the divine.

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